This is Gastroslacker

There are four kinds of eaters.

First, we have the Gourmand. Anytime you overhear someone talking about fruity undertones in a cup of coffee you have stumbled across a gourmand. Their sentences are sprinkled with gourmandy words like bechamel, gastrique, and presentation. Gourmands are damn near insufferable.

Next come Foodies. Foodies are wannabe gourmands, always trying out recipes on their friends, watching food shows, and stockpiling cook books in case a food apocalypse is just around the corner.   Show them a shiny new garlic mincer and they vibrate like an Irish Setter puppy that just spotted a squirrel.

And then there are the Gastroslackers.  Gatsroslackers are comfortable with a bacon cheeseburger, but aren’t opposed to mixing it up once in a while (more on that later). Gastroslackers don’t have to know the culinary arts, they just have to be friends with someone that does, like a foodie.

Finally, you have the “Eats Pork and Beans from the Can” folks. Their idea of upscale dining is when their chicken nuggets come with Cheetos. We’re not going to talk about them.

Now I’m a Gastroslacker with faint traces of Foodie in me. I like watching the Food Channel but don’t have the net worth it takes to have a Gourmand equipped kitchen or a pantry stocked with exotic vegetables, meats, or a spice cabinet bigger than a warehouse. I don’t care how good a meal sounds, if it costs more to prepare than it would to fund a child’s education, it ain’t gonna happen in my house.

 So how does a Gastroslacker on a limited budget and a kitchen the size of an ashtray get himself a good meal? It’s simple really, mix it up.

Let me illustrate. Take the simple hot dog. Who doesn’t love a wiener on a bun slathered with mustard? I was raised on them and they’re still good in my book. But once in a while I want a wiener with some pizzaz that doesn’t require an entire ecosystem to be sacrificed at my altar. Next time just add bacon, cause bacon goes good with anything (including more bacon). The trick is in not using an entire slice of bacon that simply overwhelms the wiener. Crumble the bacon into bits and one strip of bacon can power up as many as four dogs. It’s delicious and you should try it.

So that’s what this blog is all about, how to eat well, to take simple foods and jazz ‘em up a bit for variety. Often a recipe has just one element that can transform a dish without having to use the whole recipe. In short, you can enrich your diet whenever and however you want.


Plus, we’re going to visit some local SW Florida joints to see what the crirics are missing, take a look at some store bought stuff that violates one of the seven deadly gourmet sins (not made from scratch) but are just flat ridiculously tasty.


I hope you come back next week cause were gonna go all Gastrolacker on mac ‘n cheese.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s