You know you’re a Gastroslacker when you’ve figured out that ….
You don’t need a kitchen higher tech than Houston Mission control.
No one needs a spice cabinet larger than your average Walmart Superstore.
Some vaguely food like objects have no reason to be in any recipe other than to brag you once cooked with them.
And scratch made is not always better than store bought. In fact, you don’t need any of that to eat pretty good unless you THINK you do.
By now the Gourmands of this world are fixin to go all Bates Motel on us, but that’s another post.
Now times a wastin, so lets get right into the scratch made vs store bought debate. Scratch made is usually more costly than store bought, seriously time consuming, and often yields far less than the effort invested warrants.
Take this recipe for scratch made mayonnaise. Leaving aside for a moment that it comes with a salmonella warning, it takes up to two weeks to finish it.
Really? I’m a Gastroslacker, I ain’t got time for that. I’ve got a ham and swiss sandwich calling to me right now.
“But, but, its all about the taste.” you say.
OK, lets go there.
I like my mayonnaise smooth, not tart. Guess what? There’s a store bought brand for that. In fact most grocery chains have a large enough selection of mayonnaise that unless you’re a Gourmand or a Foodie in the end stages of your addiction it won’t be hard to find one that fits your taste buds.
Wanna take your store bought mayonnaise to DefCon 4? Dude!! You’re a Gastroslacker! That’s a walk in the park for us. Mayonnaise is a blank canvas and we’re the artists.
Lets bring some heat to the plate. Scoop a cup of mayo into a bowl, add some ground black pepper, a dash of red pepper flakes, a touch of chili powder. Squeeze a few drops of lemon juice over it, store bought of course, for a citrussy touch, mix it well then cover it and let it sit in the fridge for an hour and BOOM! You got a sandwich spread fit for the Gods.
Take your mayonnaise south of the border with a dollop of your favorite salsa, some sour cream, chili powder, and ground pepper.
Got some parsley, chives, basil, and oregano hanging around? Mix them up with a cup or two of your favorite store bought mayonnaise and you’re the proud creator of an herb mayonnaise that goes great on anything you already use mayonnaise on.
These mayo’s are easy, fast, inexpensive, they taste great, and best of all you can make them with a bowl and a spoon. How cool is that?
Now you might notice that I don’t specify ingredient amounts in my so called “recipes”. That’s cause I want to encourage you to experiment until you get it the way you like it. I did supply some links to recipes to help you get started, but really, you’re a Gastroslacker, man (or woman), and that’s a license to play.
Originally I was planning to get into all kinds of store bought goodies but I can see I’ll just have to roll ’em out over a series of posts. So that’s it, have some fun and stay tuned cause next time we’re going all Gastroslacker on grilled cheese, and while we’re at it we’re gonna visit a restaurant in SW Florida that takes grilled cheese to the moon and back.